The definition of infertility that I learned in school was ‘failing to fall pregnant within one year of having regular unprotected intercourse’.
Then a patient asked me what ‘regular intercourse’ meant? How often was that?
I have to admit that I didn’t know what the ‘regular’ amount of sex was.
According to Assisted Human Reproduction Canada, 80% of heterosexual couples having unprotected sex 2-3 times per week will get pregnant in 1 year.
So there you have it. Two to three times a week is regular sex.
For many, I dare to say most, of my fertility patients, that is a lot of sex. And maybe that is part of the issue. Once couples start ‘trying’ for a baby, they (mostly the women) start to time sex based on “when is ovulation”?
When a women ovulates varies greatly. So then it becomes “do we have sex everyday or every other day?” and “what day should we start having sex on?”.
And so the anxiety and complications of fertility begin. In an attempt to have sex on ‘the right day’, intimacy becomes robotic and stressful. Often men don’t want to perform on demand to a women who is clearly not into them just what they have to deposit. Tensions rise. Away we go.
So as much as sex 2-3 times a week may seem like a lot to fit into your schedule, it’s a lot less stressful than ‘timed on-demand’ sex and it will likely yield better results.