I felt like if I could just find someone to date, to fill the void, to be a father for my daughters, it would make me feel better. Then I would be fixed and everything would be ok.
But the grieving doesn’t go away.
Let me tell you, it’s amazing to have a supportive 2nd husband who loves my kids and me. But at the end of the day, my girls are still missing Steve, their 1st dad. And I’m missing him too. They have 2 dads now.
The missing will never go away. I will never be “fixed.”
I will have a heart with a bit of a scar on it from where it was broken. It won’t go back to how it was before.
But that also is good. Because I don’t want to forget Steve or stop loving him.
For those of you on your new widowed journey, you may be thinking about dating again. We’re all on our own timetables and journeys.
I just want you to know, it won’t fix you. You aren’t broken, just grieving.
Hugs,
Whitney
I miss hugs
I remember when I was newly widowed. That first year I was lucky to have such amazing support from my family and close friends. I got hugs and cuddles daily from my toddler and newborn. But obviously something was missing.
I remember going to see my osteopath and getting a treatment. He put his arms around me like a hug in some of the gentle adjustments. I wasn’t attracted to him, don’t misunderstand this, but the human touch filled a void that I didn’t know I was missing so much.
Now, in this pandemic where we aren’t allowed to hug our closest friends, our family members, the new babies in our outer circles… it’s going against the human need for connection and touch.
Of course it’s important to do our due diligence and protect the vulnerable people in our lives. Of course we are going to do what the medical professionals and our leaders are suggesting. I’m just saying, if you are missing human connection and touch, you’re not alone.
Maybe going for that massage or osteopathic treatment is not frivolous. Maybe it’s feeding your soul, your humanness. Maybe it’s releasing wonderful hormones in your body to make you feel a little bit better.
How can you get touch? Who in your social circle can you hug a little bit more?
Happily Ever After

Here’s my Top 9 of 2019 from my Instagram @drwhitneyyoung
You know what?
I think you like love. I think you like a good love story and a happy ending.
So do I.
I love romantic comedies and all those sappy holiday movies that I watched over the last month that end with them falling in love or having their first kiss.
But it doesn’t show the real rawness, the stress and excitement of new relationships, the heartache of the first fight, the inevitable misunderstandings, the ups and downs of figuring out how to live together with a blended family.
I’m extremely happy with this next chapter of my life as I was with the chapter that had my first marriage in it.
I want you to know that these shining happy moments with the beautiful memories are only part of me.
The grief, the loss, the anger, the sadness. Those also are part of me and my story.
This next part of my journey, the one that I’m so excited to start on and be part of, will have so many parts to it. I will love the best ones and grow from the tough ones.
That’s life after all. Choosing love over and over again. Getting up when you fall down. Apologizing for a bad mood, a misstep and getting back to the love.
Thank you for all for being a part of my journey and for cheering us on.
xo
Whitney