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Dr. Whitney Young ND

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loss

Loving After Loss

April 10, 2023 By //  by Whitney Young, ND

Loving after loss is really hard for many people. I know a lot of people who are divorced, widowed, or single who are terrified to love again. 

They don’t want to have the loss, the grief, or the complication again. 

I get that. But I wanted to love again. 

Brene Brown wrote “We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.”

After Steve died, I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life without a partner. Someone to be my partner in life. To dream with, to build with. 

It makes me mad when amazing women I know don’t fight hard enough for the lives they want. Sure, it doesn’t have to include a man. But it could!

Tim, my second husband, was amazing. He was all the things I dreamed of. I was so incredibly surprised that he already existed! That he was out there, doing his thing, waiting to meet me too. Loving after loss was something we both were doing together! We understood the preciousness of life.

When things got tough with our long-distance relationship or blended family, I knew he was worth it and we were worth fighting for. 

And now? Sure, I’ve questioned if I want the potential heartache again. 

But what I know for sure, is that I’m going to live the hell out of life, make the most of it, and do all the things that bring me joy. I’m going to live bravely and make mistakes. 

And love. 

I want to encourage you to be your brave self. Love more and find where you belong. 

I’m here for you along the way. Join me over on Instagram as I rebuild my life yet again as a “Double Widow” and share the journey with you.

Whitney

Loving After LossRead More

Filed Under: Five Futures, Widowed

When will I see him again?

April 2, 2021 By //  by Whitney Young, ND

Please don’t ask me when I’ll see Tim again. It hurts my heart.

This is definitely not how I imagined my marriage going. Being a widowed person, remarried, I had high hopes of living with my new husband. Finally getting to do the day-to-day things I had been missing after Steve died.

I was tired of being a solo parent. I was tired of making all the decisions. I was tired of taking care of the house. Being the only one to take the garbage out. The only one to empty the dishwasher.

Marrying Tim gave me hope of things to come.

We knew we wouldn’t be able to live together right away because he lives in the US and I live in Canada. We were working out immigration plans to be together.

But this big thing called the global pandemic got in the way.

My hopes were delayed again.

I feel like I’ve been living in this limbo for 5.5 years since Steve died. The map of the life I imagined got ripped apart.

I know you get this to some degree. The pandemic has changed the map of your life too. The plans you made, the things you were going to do, the people you were going to visit. It’s changed everything.

For me, I don’t know when I will see my husband again. We’ve been fortunate to have seen each other a handful of times over the last year. But it pales in comparison to the plans we had and how often we saw each other before March 2020.

Thank you for caring and wanting to know when we’ll see each other again. Thank you for being concerned. Thank you for feeling compassion for our difficult and unusual situation. I appreciate that.

For now, we are living a long-distance marriage across a closed border with quarantine restrictions, Covid tests, and uncertainty.

For now, we connect through FaceTime, Zoom, and phone dates.

For now, we will both try to live in the moment, enjoy the time with our kids, and not let this moment pass us by. Because one day we will live together and have moments of being sick of each other. But I can’t imagine those days right now.

Whitney

When will I see him again?Read More

Filed Under: Widowed

Making Moments Matter

June 21, 2019 By //  by Whitney Young, ND

I had a harder time with Father’s Day than I expected. But actually it hit me a day later when I sat down with my counsellor.

“How are you doing?” she asked. The tears started coming.

My younger daughter turned 4 the day before Father’s Day. The collision of the two special days did me in.

On the happiest day of her birthday there is still a shadow caused by the events that happened only a couple of months after her birth.

I still find it hard to look at pictures of her during her first year of life. It transports me back into the pain. The pain of losing my husband, her dad. The pain of my life shattered into a million pieces.

The innocence in her eyes. She didn’t feel the loss like the rest of us did. She had started to bond with him but attachment isn’t solidified by 3 months old.

Leanna met each milestone in her first year of life but if you asked me when she crawled, I don’t know. How horrible is that? I don’t remember. I remember exactly when my first daughter crawled. But my second? I was in a fog. I honestly don’t remember. I was robbed. She was robbed. Steve was robbed.

Father’s Day is another one of those days that reminds me of how he was robbed. How unfair that he only got to enjoy a handful of Father’s Days as a parent? It sucks. But it’s the reality. It is what it is. The grace of acceptance isn’t easy.

As I was searching for photos of Leanna to post on her 4th birthday this past weekend to celebrate her, I stumbled across a photo of the 4 of us. I only thought there was one photo in existence. But here it is. A blurry photo of the 4 of us! Hidden treasure! Here it is! The day that Leanna was born. The moment big sister met little sister. It was a perfect moment.

One of my regrets is that there is only 1 (now 2) photos in the world of the 4 of us as a family. It’s one of those heartbreaking things I realized in the early months after Steve died.

My wish to you is to treasure your moments. Take pictures. Be in pictures. Don’t let your bad outfit, bad hair-day, bad self-image stop you from jumping in pictures with your family. Be part of it. Make those moments matter. Don’t miss out. Enjoy every moment. Treasure every moment. Love is what matters.

Whitney

Making Moments MatterRead More

Filed Under: Children's Health, Mood

Daddy Duties

May 30, 2016 By //  by Whitney Young, ND

Daddy Duties

The first time my windshield fluid went dry in my minivan, I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. Dread came over me. This was the first time in so many years that I was going to have to do this on my own.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m an accomplished, feminist type of woman. I used to check my own oil, put air in my leaking tire and put windshield washer fluid in my car. You know, the relatively easy stuff.

But I hadn’t had to do that in years. Steve always took care of this for me and topped it up for me.

There are countless other mundane chores at home that he thoughtfully took care of and now it all falls to me.

That dread of oh…THIS…THIS is something I’m going to have to do ON MY OWN again. And it’s not a big deal, right? Buying a jug of fluid, opening my hood and pouring it in while trying not to spill the whole thing. Not a big deal.

But it was just another reminder that he’s not here. He’s not here to take care of me anymore.

Last week it was the propane tank. I used to buy propane in university for our BBQ that I shared with my friends. But that was almost 10 years ago.

So, here’s 3 steps to hating those Daddy Duties then Conquering Them. You can do it. I believe in you.

  1. Feel Sad. Feel sad for a moment. For what you lost. For him not being here any more.
  2. Be Thankful. Thank him for all the wonderful things he did for you. Count them. Say them out loud or just remember a couple.
  3. Be Bold and Conquer. Now, you can be powerful. You can amaze yourself and others with this tiny thing that now you can do! Wow! You are amazing. Gold star!

I know it’s tough. I’m with you. I get it. But you can do it. Try something small. If you can’t do it and it’s too hard, ask for help. Your family and friends want to help and they are just waiting for you to give them a specific job.

If you want to join me and a group of others who are mothering through loss, come on over to our Facebook group called Guiltless Grace. Click here to find us.

Hugs,

Whitney

Survival Guide Specialist

Daddy DutiesRead More

Filed Under: Mood

The Monopoly on Missing Him

April 6, 2016 By //  by Whitney Young, ND

40

The Monopoly on Missing Him

I’ve been so focused on myself and my own grieving. I’ve come to believe that no one else can truly be suffering and missing Steve like I can. Like I get to win the prize of Best Griever. Yay me!

While there is some truth to that, Steve was my husband and we truly knew each other inside and out. He was my best friend in the whole wide world. We shared 10 wonderful years together.

But he wasn’t only mine. He didn’t belong to me. He belonged to the world.

He shared his light, love and joy with everyone. He lived many years without me. Came from a loving family, made lifelong friends with his buddies and shared his joy with countless loved ones and strangers alike.

Steve had a way of making you feel like you were the only one in the room. That everything you said mattered, was important and was exciting! He was thrilled for you for every little success.

I’m just realizing bit by bit that the ripples he made in this world were not just in my world but everywhere.

I felt like I had the monopoly on missing him. But I’m not an island. We are all connected and he was and still is connected to us all. Even as you read this and if you’ve never met him, you are still affected by him.

Steve made every person feel important no matter what they were doing. Every server at a restaurant, teller at a bank, receptionist or service person. He learned their name, used it, and became a loyal fan.

So, can we still miss our loved ones and wallow in our grief? Sometimes.

But, we can remember we’re not alone. There are others who miss them too and are suffering too. And if we can focus on the joy, love and lessons, we will be so much happier.

I find great joy in sharing all I know about Steve with my daughters. They are still so young but I can tell them about Daddy’s favourite things, his values and how he appreciated life. This way he will still live on and I don’t have to be as sad.

Sharing with them and our family and friends helps me to feel more joy. In our culture it seems taboo to talk about someone who has died. No one wants to really talk about Steve probably for fear of making me sad. I can’t speak for everyone going through loss but for me I like talking about him and his life and our life together. It’s important, he matters and he will for a long time.

So my wish for you today is to:

  1. Remember your loved ones with joy
  2. Talk about them with others who loved them
  3. Remember that you are never alone

Love Whitney

 

 

The Monopoly on Missing HimRead More

Filed Under: Mood

Do I Live Happily Ever After?

March 2, 2016 By //  by Whitney Young, ND

Do I Live Happily Ever After?

Do I Live Happily Ever After?

I have always loved a happy ending. Growing up, I loved the Disney movies with the princesses who found their prince and lived happily ever after.

Who doesn’t want to “live happily ever after?”

But what does “happily ever after” mean? When is the after? To what point? The whole time? For the rest of their lives?

Dictionary.com defines it to “spend the rest of one’s life in happiness.”

Did Steve live “happily ever after?” Was he happy during his life? Yes. He was very happy. Were there bad times, sad times, stressed out times, and difficult times? Yes. Those too. But that’s normal.

The Urban Dictionary defines it as “to find your one and only and live happily with them for the rest of your life. To be constantly happy with no end.”

So, according to this definition did Steve live happily ever after? The first part yes. He found his one and only – me – and lived happily with me for the rest of his life.

But was he constantly happy with no end? No, that’s impossible. It’s not realistic for anyone. There are going to be crappy times. You are going to have bad moods. There are going to be really sad things that happen. It can’t be avoided. But can we live happily every after anyway?

What about me? Do I live “happily ever after?”

I found my one and only and lived happily with him but now he’s gone. But he will stay with me, in my heart and I will live happily ever after with him there.

To live happily ever after is a choice.

Am I heartbroken still? Yes. But I could choose to be unhappy all the time, but that wouldn’t honour him or be much fun at all.

In so many of the Disney movies, the princesses are orphans or have lost a parent. I suppose my girls are those princesses. They’ve been dealt a bad hand but they deserve to live happily ever after too.

Will I be “constantly happy with no end?” Nope. None of us will. There will be ups and downs, good times and bad times. Happiness will have endings and beginnings again.

To live happily every after is too long of a concept anyway. I can only focus on now and a short time from now. It’s all I can handle. For now, I choose to live happily in the moments that feel right and feel the all the other emotions in the moments that feel right for those. That’s all we can do.

Honour how you feel each moment and know that it’s ok but don’t stay in the darkness. You deserve to live happily ever after too, whatever that looks like for you.

Love and hugs

Whitney

 

 

 

Do I Live Happily Ever After?Read More

Filed Under: Mood

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This year I bought golf clubs for my birthday and This year I bought golf clubs for my birthday and decided this was the year I was taking up golf officially. 

It was time to build this skill so I could spend more time with my mom and stepdad. The byproduct is creating new memories with other friends who also like the game and making new friends. 

This Friday we golfed in the 5th annual Mike Gilbertson Memorial tournament. I’ve sponsored a hole for a few years for @carlaynegilbertson and @seasonscentreforgrieving but this is the first year I golfed. It was so much fun for a great cause. I’m excited to see how much the event raised for these special kids. 

What activities do you do to connect with the people you love?

#connection #womensupportingwomen #golflifestyle #community
Katie @your.thyroid.nd and I are really happy to o Katie @your.thyroid.nd and I are really happy to once again be a corporate sponsor for Bridgets Run. This is us last fall. 

We would love for you to join our team and walk or run with us on Saturday, October 21 at Centennial Beach Park in Barrie. The run starts at 10 AM. Click the link in bio to learn more to register. 

@bridgetsbunnies @rooted_naturopathic_clinic #infantloss #miscarriage #infertility #miscarriageawareness #miscarriagesupport
Play isn't just for kids—it's a powerful tool fo Play isn't just for kids—it's a powerful tool for enhancing your well-being at any age. As a naturopathic doctor, I know that integrating play into your routine can lead to a healthier, happier life.

**Physical Fitness:** From sports to dancing, play keeps you moving. It's not just fun – it's a boost for your heart, muscles, and coordination. I've been jumping on the trampoline with my kids, random dance parties, and throwing the ball to our dog-sitting pupils. 

**Stress Relief:** Need to unwind? Play triggers the release of natural stress-busters, helping you relax and recharge.

**Cognitive Stimulation:** Puzzles, games, and creative activities keep your mind sharp. Get ready to boost memory, focus, and problem-solving skills. We love a good board game at my house. What's your favourite?

**Social Interaction:** Play often happens with others, promoting social bonds, better communication, and a sense of belonging.

**Emotional Well-being:** Laughter and accomplishment are byproducts of play. They combat anxiety, depression, and loneliness.

No matter your age, play has a place in your life. As your doctor, I encourage you to embrace play for a healthier you. Remember, the prescription for play is a prescription for a better life. #PlayForHealth #WellnessJourney #naturopathicdoctor #childrenshealth #barrie #playmore
15 years! I graduated from the Toronto naturopat 15 years! 

I graduated from the Toronto naturopathic college @myccnm 15 years ago with the hope of helping as many people as possible. 

First I had humble beginnings with renting a room at The Healing Oasis with a lovely team of practitioners. From there, I took over The Healing Oasis for a few years before moving to Bell Farm Road  to be part-owner of @rooted_naturopathic_clinic

I’ve been here for over 10 years now.

I’m so grateful for the many people I have worked with and proud of the steps they’ve taken to improve their health. 

Who knows what the next 15 years brings? For now, I’ll mark this moment and celebrate. 

#naturopathicmedicine #barrie #barriend #barrieontario #naturopathontario #ndsuccess #ndlife #naturopathicdoctor
🌿💚 Hey there, parents! Dr. Whitney here, you 🌿💚 Hey there, parents! Dr. Whitney here, your friendly naturopathic doctor with a special focus in children's health. 

🧒Whether it's tackling eczema, soothing tummy troubles like constipation or diarrhea, easing anxiety, or ensuring a happy and healthy start for your little ones, I'm here to support you every step of the way. 

🌈✨ From well baby checks to guiding you through the exciting journey of solid food introduction and food allergy prevention, my mission is to nurture your child's well-being naturally. 

🙌🌿 Let's work together to create a vibrant, joyful, and allergy-free future for your little superheroes! 🌟🦸‍♀️ 

#ChildrensHealth #NaturopathicDoctor #HealthyKids #HappyLittleOnes #NaturalSolutions #wellnessjourneywarrior
Doing a happy dance for this family! Their toddl Doing a happy dance for this family! 

Their toddlers eczema is 95% better! He doesn’t scratch his back on his high chair every time he sits down for meal time anymore. His hair is growing back where he was scratching. He’s a happier guy!! 

Know anyone who’s child is suffering with eczema? Share this with them. I’d be happy to help. 

#naturaleczemarelief #eczemarelief #eczemahealing #babyeczema #babydoctor #naturopathicmedicine
Here’s a few of my tips that I use at home to re Here’s a few of my tips that I use at home to remember to take my supplements everyday. 

1️⃣ put them in the pantry cupboard that is easily accessible and that I open often for other things. 

2️⃣ Keep them in the door of the refrigerator, not at the back of the fridge, so they don’t get lost. 

3️⃣ portion out everyday in the morning when I make my lunch to go to work. Therefore, I remember to take my supplements because I’ve paired them with eating lunch or making my lunch in the morning. Thanks to #AtomicHabits for that one. 

#supplements #habits #healthhabits #remembering #healthhacks #healthyhabits
Resilience is getting out of bed when you don’t Resilience is getting out of bed when you don’t want to and going to work knowing that it will help your mood (even if I’d rather stay at home and mope).

Did it. Success. Best day ever? No. 
But my mood improved from this morning and I made a difference and gave hope to one new family. 

Keep going. 

#resilience #keepgoing #keepgoingforward
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