Rock Bottom for Moms

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As I sit here writing the last chapter of my book about Rock Bottom for Moms, I’m thinking of all the women out there who’ve hit their rock bottom during motherhood like me.

I’m thinking about their mom guilt. Mom’s feel guilty about not being the mom they want to be. That their rock bottom moment or moments are taking away from experiences with their children.

I’m thinking about their struggles and sadness. They’re suffering from loss, grief, or miscarriage and infant loss. Their rock bottom might be mental illness or a physical illness. Their rock bottom could be burnout from this darn pandemic thing.

I’m thinking about their children. Their children who love them no matter what. The children who even though their mother has hit rock bottom, need them.

And I’m thinking about their journeys. Rock bottom for moms happens all the time. But it’s usually behind closed doors. We claim to be “fine” and want to appear to have it all together. We have so much pressure to maintain a house, raise the kids, feed them, keep ourselves together, and maybe have a job too.

I want you to know that Rock Bottom isn’t a destination, it’s just a layover. 

A layover is “a period of rest or waiting before a further stage in a journey.” That’s it. Just rest. You’re taking a layover. You’re still on your journey. This isn’t it. Things will get better. I promise. 

I’m writing my book as a tribute to Steve, my late husband. I’m also writing it for moms out there, my friends, my patients, and those I haven’t met yet. I want them to know there’s a way out of rock bottom.

In my book I share with you my story of hitting rock bottom. It can serve as a guide or inspiration. Or just as a comfort to know you’re not alone.

I’ve walked this path too.

Whitney

P.S. Do you want to be in the know about my book launch? Join my Facebook Group for Moms to stay up to date.

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We’re surviving

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Hey there,

I know it’s been awhile since you’ve heard from me.

I’ve been surviving this pandemic thing and staying at home. I’ve been trying to figure out how to support my kids with at-home-learning, while I also try to keep the house clean, and keep going with my business.

The biggest lesson I’m still learning is I don’t have control over everything. If I let go, I’m happier.

Let go of worrying about when the pandemic will end. Let go of trying to control my kids to be “perfect students” at home. Let go of when the government will make decisions.

It’s not always easy, but it’s helpful when I can.

If you are struggling as a mom and are wondering why, download my Isolated Monster Mom – The 3 REAL Reasons You’re Losing Your Cool. It’s got some valuable tricks that you can start using right away.

In the meantime, I’m here for you.

Whitney

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Isolated Monster Mom

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It’s here, my newest guide for you.

We’ve been living in unprecedented times. I’m so sick of that phrase! But, it’s true.

We’ve been doing the mom thing during a pandemic, and we’ve never had to do that before.

You’ve been feeling crappy and losing your cool a lot more often than before.

I’ve compiled the 3 REAL reasons this is going on.

Click here to get access to this list and the 9 things you can do RIGHT NOW to start feeling saner.

I’m here for you,

Whitney

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Mommy Moods & Kids Long-Term Health

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1 in 5 people will experience mental illness in any given year in Canada. This is truly an epidemic. It doesn’t only affect the person, their jobs, their health, it affects the people around them.

Sadly, it has a long-term negative effect on children. The ACEs study of Adverse Childhood Experiences found that children who grew up with the experience of a depressed family member in the household had an increased chance of long-term health consequences like chronic disease, mental illness, substance abuse and early death.

This is not great news. This is why it’s so important to address mom’s health when we’re talking about children’s health. They are part of the family unit. Everyone in the family affects the other.

This is why I’m passionate about working with moms.

Watch my short video about this and a small thing you can do TODAY to help both mom and child.

Talk soon,

Whitney

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The Hating is Dissipating

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My youngest daughter is enjoying her gymnastics class a lot. It’s a parent and tot class so each of the little ones has a parent with them to assist with all the cute moves they’re doing.

A couple weeks ago there were just 4 kids there with an adult. We did their warm-ups of jumping, bear walks and walking on tip toes. It was already 10 minutes into the class before I realized that all the other parents were Dads. I was the only Mom there. A year ago I would have noticed immediately and have been devastated, hating the Dads and their cuteness with their kids. Their loving hugs and connection with their children.

But the hating is dissipating. I don’t feel as angry. I don’t feel as empty. It’s there still…the sadness, the longing for the way things should be. But peace is slowly creeping into my life.

Learning to live this new life is a day to day exploration. Figuring out how this is going to work without Steve. He was a light and rock in our lives. He was our cheerleader.

So, if your life is not working out the way you’ve hoped here’s some of the things I’ve done to help me over the last 2 years.

  1. Take Care of You – I’ve put a big emphasis on taking care of me so I can take care of my kids. Going to bed early, eating well, seeing my counsellor, going to the gym etc. What small changes can you make to your day which would be a bit more kinder to your body, mind and spirit?
  2. Find your Passion – I’ve done a lot of self-reflection over the last year. When death hits so close to home people often reflect on their life. Are they living the life they want? I’ve refined my business to grow the parts I really want to do more of. I’ve tried out different hobbies and keep exploring who I am so I can find joy today and not put it off. I know too well that life is too short.
  3. Enjoy the Now – I have been actively working on my inner game, my mental state. I could complain about how hard my life is (sometimes I still do) or I can embrace the gifts I’ve been given. My 2 healthy, brilliant little girls who are strong-willed and funny. It’s not all roses and picture-perfect moments but I’m grateful for my kids. So, each day, I’m learning to enjoy the now, the present moment.

So yes, the hating is dissipating. It’s being replaced by love and gratitude. I hope your hate is leaving too.

If you want more support, click here to join me in my private Facebook group Guiltless Grace.

Talk soon,

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The Goal of the Stroll

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The house we grew up in backed onto this amazing park with a soccer field and my elementary school. We had this secret door through the big gate that would open up into a world of imagination, play and adventure. I have so many childhood memories that involve friends and cousins and running out through the gate to the park.

The parks and the mature trees and the friendly neighbours are what I love so much about living in my neck of the woods. I love asking my daughters about which park they want to go to and they yell “the purple park!”

What’s even better is that there are amazing health benefits from getting outside and connecting with your neighbours. As a naturopathic doctor who works with moms, babies and kids, I love sharing about all the great reasons why it’s great to get outside and chat with your neighbours.

Park Perks

Being outside in nature just makes us feel good and this is a huge area of new research because of how much time we spend indoors and in front of tech toys like iPads, phones and TV.

Being surrounded by trees, forests and outdoor spaces has numerous health benefits for you and your kids. These include:

  • Improved short-term memory
  • Restored mental energy
  • Stress-relief
  • Lower levels of inflammation
  • Better vision
  • Improved concentration
  • Sharper thinking and creativity
  • Immune system boosts
  • Improved mental health

So, just being outside among the trees of your neighbourhood can really make you feel good.

Neighbourhood Networking

The number of neighbours who we actually know has changed over the years. We spend more time indoors and the nightly news gives us lots of reasons why we should hide out at home.

However, being with others is extremely important to our health. Having a social network helps with longevity. There was a Harvard study of graduates throughout their lifespans and they found that strong relationships are the strongest predictor of life satisfaction.

A lack of social ties is associated with depression and later-life cognitive decline as well as increased mortality. This increase in mortality risk is roughly comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. So having strong relationships is really important!

Connecting with others relieves harmful levels of stress, which can negatively affect coronary arteries, gut function, insulin regulation, and your immune system.

So, let’s get outside more, let’s start talking to our neighbours and forming those relationships with each other, we’ll feel better for it.

Dr. Whitney Young, ND

Dr. Whitney is a Naturopathic Doctor and Super Baby Coach who has a special focus on fertility, pregnancy and children’s health. She is the founder of Guiltless Grace – an online community for moms who want to ditch the Mommy Guilt!

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