The first time my windshield fluid went dry in my minivan, I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. Dread came over me. This was the first time in so many years that I was going to have to do this on my own.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m an accomplished, feminist type of woman. I used to check my own oil, put air in my leaking tire and put windshield washer fluid in my car. You know, the relatively easy stuff.
But I hadn’t had to do that in years. Steve always took care of this for me and topped it up for me.
There are countless other mundane chores at home that he thoughtfully took care of and now it all falls to me.
That dread of oh…THIS…THIS is something I’m going to have to do ON MY OWN again. And it’s not a big deal, right? Buying a jug of fluid, opening my hood and pouring it in while trying not to spill the whole thing. Not a big deal.
But it was just another reminder that he’s not here. He’s not here to take care of me anymore.
Last week it was the propane tank. I used to buy propane in university for our BBQ that I shared with my friends. But that was almost 10 years ago.
So, here’s 3 steps to hating those Daddy Duties then Conquering Them. You can do it. I believe in you.
- Feel Sad. Feel sad for a moment. For what you lost. For him not being here any more.
- Be Thankful. Thank him for all the wonderful things he did for you. Count them. Say them out loud or just remember a couple.
- Be Bold and Conquer. Now, you can be powerful. You can amaze yourself and others with this tiny thing that now you can do! Wow! You are amazing. Gold star!
I know it’s tough. I’m with you. I get it. But you can do it. Try something small. If you can’t do it and it’s too hard, ask for help. Your family and friends want to help and they are just waiting for you to give them a specific job.
If you want to join me and a group of others who are mothering through loss, come on over to our Facebook group called Guiltless Grace. Click here to find us.
Survival Guide Specialist