Ditch the Mom Guilt

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Today I sat at the park and journaled while the kids played. ⁠
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I ditched the “should.” ⁠
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I “should” go over there and play with them or push them on the swing. I “should” be a more involved mom. I “should” be more engaged. ⁠
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But who’s voice was I hearing? ⁠
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Where did this come from?⁠
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Why couldn’t they be kids, while I be a mom sitting at the park? ⁠
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We give ourselves so much mom guilt, it’s ridiculous!⁠
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Just enjoy the freaking park. Go sit on a bench, or grass, or bring your own chair and relax.⁠
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Ok, maybe some of you aren’t there yet. Your kids actually need you to make sure they don’t fall of the equipment and hurt themselves. ⁠
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But where else in your life do you use so many “shoulds?”⁠
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Where else in your life do you pile on the “mom guilt?”

Come hang out with my in my Facebook Group for moms and let’s chat together about it there.

Talk soon,

Whitney

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Isolated Monster Mom

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It’s here, my newest guide for you.

We’ve been living in unprecedented times. I’m so sick of that phrase! But, it’s true.

We’ve been doing the mom thing during a pandemic, and we’ve never had to do that before.

You’ve been feeling crappy and losing your cool a lot more often than before.

I’ve compiled the 3 REAL reasons this is going on.

Click here to get access to this list and the 9 things you can do RIGHT NOW to start feeling saner.

I’m here for you,

Whitney

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I miss hugs

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Human Touch.⁠⁠

I remember when I was newly widowed. That first year I was lucky to have such amazing support from my family and close friends. ⁠⁠I got hugs and cuddles daily from my toddler and newborn. But obviously something was missing. ⁠⁠

I remember going to see my osteopath and getting a treatment. He put his arms around me like a hug in some of the gentle adjustments. I wasn’t attracted to him, don’t misunderstand this, but the human touch filled a void that I didn’t know I was missing so much. ⁠⁠

Now, in this pandemic where we aren’t allowed to hug our closest friends, our family members, the new babies in our outer circles… it’s going against the human need for connection and touch. ⁠⁠

Of course it’s important to do our due diligence and protect the vulnerable people in our lives. Of course we are going to do what the medical professionals and our leaders are suggesting. ⁠⁠I’m just saying, if you are missing human connection and touch, you’re not alone.

Maybe going for that massage or osteopathic treatment is not frivolous. Maybe it’s feeding your soul, your humanness. Maybe it’s releasing wonderful hormones in your body to make you feel a little bit better. ⁠⁠

How can you get touch? Who in your social circle can you hug a little bit more?

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My Word of the Year

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Happy New Year Mama!

New Year’s is always like a fresh start. It’s like a brand new beginning. Where things can be a bit different and you can be a better mom and do things a little bit differently. It gives us a little bit of motivation to try new things, new recipes, new ways of thinking.

Every year I contemplate my intentions for the coming year and I like to pick a word that will encompass or guide my year. Last year my word was faith.

Last year my word was Faith

Faith in myself, faith in my decisions and faith in the future that I was building. Faith that everything was going to work out just as it should. Sometimes the faith wasn’t there or shaky. But I could always return to that word and feel it again.

Have you thought of yours yet? 

For me, how I found it was just thinking about this coming year of 2020. What my vision for it is. How I want to feel. What I hope to accomplish at home, with the kids, at work. I journaled and brainstormed then saw how each word on the page felt for me. 

My word will help guide me over the next year. I can use it to ask myself questions to make sure I’m on the right track. It can help remind me of the core of what I need this year. 

This year my word is Ignite. 

Ignite

I’m ready to ignite my world with more passion, love and fun. To brighten up my family life. To turn mundane into magical. To ignite those around me to feel inspired and hopeful. To ignite the ideas and dreams within me to the surface to burn brightly. To help others ignite the dreams and passions within themselves. So we can all live a life filled with passion and purpose. 

I’d love to know your word if you feel like sharing and why you chose it. 

Whitney

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Mommy Moods & Kids Long-Term Health

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1 in 5 people will experience mental illness in any given year in Canada. This is truly an epidemic. It doesn’t only affect the person, their jobs, their health, it affects the people around them.

Sadly, it has a long-term negative effect on children. The ACEs study of Adverse Childhood Experiences found that children who grew up with the experience of a depressed family member in the household had an increased chance of long-term health consequences like chronic disease, mental illness, substance abuse and early death.

This is not great news. This is why it’s so important to address mom’s health when we’re talking about children’s health. They are part of the family unit. Everyone in the family affects the other.

This is why I’m passionate about working with moms.

Watch my short video about this and a small thing you can do TODAY to help both mom and child.

Talk soon,

Whitney

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Making Moments Matter

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I had a harder time with Father’s Day than I expected. But actually it hit me a day later when I sat down with my counsellor.

“How are you doing?” she asked. The tears started coming.

My younger daughter turned 4 the day before Father’s Day. The collision of the two special days did me in.

On the happiest day of her birthday there is still a shadow caused by the events that happened only a couple of months after her birth.

I still find it hard to look at pictures of her during her first year of life. It transports me back into the pain. The pain of losing my husband, her dad. The pain of my life shattered into a million pieces.

The innocence in her eyes. She didn’t feel the loss like the rest of us did. She had started to bond with him but attachment isn’t solidified by 3 months old.

Leanna met each milestone in her first year of life but if you asked me when she crawled, I don’t know. How horrible is that? I don’t remember. I remember exactly when my first daughter crawled. But my second? I was in a fog. I honestly don’t remember. I was robbed. She was robbed. Steve was robbed.

Father’s Day is another one of those days that reminds me of how he was robbed. How unfair that he only got to enjoy a handful of Father’s Days as a parent? It sucks. But it’s the reality. It is what it is. The grace of acceptance isn’t easy.

As I was searching for photos of Leanna to post on her 4th birthday this past weekend to celebrate her, I stumbled across a photo of the 4 of us. I only thought there was one photo in existence. But here it is. A blurry photo of the 4 of us! Hidden treasure! Here it is! The day that Leanna was born. The moment big sister met little sister. It was a perfect moment.

One of my regrets is that there is only 1 (now 2) photos in the world of the 4 of us as a family. It’s one of those heartbreaking things I realized in the early months after Steve died.

My wish to you is to treasure your moments. Take pictures. Be in pictures. Don’t let your bad outfit, bad hair-day, bad self-image stop you from jumping in pictures with your family. Be part of it. Make those moments matter. Don’t miss out. Enjoy every moment. Treasure every moment. Love is what matters.

Whitney

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