You’re not broken, just grieving

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I felt like if I could just find someone to date, to fill the void, to be a father for my daughters, it would make me feel better. Then I would be fixed and everything would be ok. ⁠
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But the grieving doesn’t go away. ⁠
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Let me tell you, it’s amazing to have a supportive 2nd husband who loves my kids and me. But at the end of the day, my girls are still missing Steve, their 1st dad. And I’m missing him too. They have 2 dads now. ⁠
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The missing will never go away. I will never be “fixed.”⁠
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I will have a heart with a bit of a scar on it from where it was broken. It won’t go back to how it was before. ⁠
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But that also is good. Because I don’t want to forget Steve or stop loving him. ⁠
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For those of you on your new widowed journey, you may be thinking about dating again. We’re all on our own timetables and journeys. ⁠
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I just want you to know, it won’t fix you. You aren’t broken, just grieving. ⁠
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Hugs,⁠
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Whitney⁠

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Ditch the Mom Guilt

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Today I sat at the park and journaled while the kids played. ⁠
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I ditched the “should.” ⁠
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I “should” go over there and play with them or push them on the swing. I “should” be a more involved mom. I “should” be more engaged. ⁠
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But who’s voice was I hearing? ⁠
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Where did this come from?⁠
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Why couldn’t they be kids, while I be a mom sitting at the park? ⁠
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We give ourselves so much mom guilt, it’s ridiculous!⁠
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Just enjoy the freaking park. Go sit on a bench, or grass, or bring your own chair and relax.⁠
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Ok, maybe some of you aren’t there yet. Your kids actually need you to make sure they don’t fall of the equipment and hurt themselves. ⁠
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But where else in your life do you use so many “shoulds?”⁠
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Where else in your life do you pile on the “mom guilt?”

Come hang out with my in my Facebook Group for moms and let’s chat together about it there.

Talk soon,

Whitney

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Isolated Monster Mom

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It’s here, my newest guide for you.

We’ve been living in unprecedented times. I’m so sick of that phrase! But, it’s true.

We’ve been doing the mom thing during a pandemic, and we’ve never had to do that before.

You’ve been feeling crappy and losing your cool a lot more often than before.

I’ve compiled the 3 REAL reasons this is going on.

Click here to get access to this list and the 9 things you can do RIGHT NOW to start feeling saner.

I’m here for you,

Whitney

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I miss hugs

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Human Touch.⁠⁠

I remember when I was newly widowed. That first year I was lucky to have such amazing support from my family and close friends. ⁠⁠I got hugs and cuddles daily from my toddler and newborn. But obviously something was missing. ⁠⁠

I remember going to see my osteopath and getting a treatment. He put his arms around me like a hug in some of the gentle adjustments. I wasn’t attracted to him, don’t misunderstand this, but the human touch filled a void that I didn’t know I was missing so much. ⁠⁠

Now, in this pandemic where we aren’t allowed to hug our closest friends, our family members, the new babies in our outer circles… it’s going against the human need for connection and touch. ⁠⁠

Of course it’s important to do our due diligence and protect the vulnerable people in our lives. Of course we are going to do what the medical professionals and our leaders are suggesting. ⁠⁠I’m just saying, if you are missing human connection and touch, you’re not alone.

Maybe going for that massage or osteopathic treatment is not frivolous. Maybe it’s feeding your soul, your humanness. Maybe it’s releasing wonderful hormones in your body to make you feel a little bit better. ⁠⁠

How can you get touch? Who in your social circle can you hug a little bit more?

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Define the love you want first

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In honour of the anniversary of our first date…⁠
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How will you know the person you are meant to be with until you define who he is? ⁠
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Before I met Tim I had dated a little. After a few short-lived relationships I decided to write out a list of the qualities of the man I was looking for. ⁠
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Having been married before there were things I liked and didn’t like about my late husband. That’s normal. No one is perfect, right? ⁠
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If I had to choose again, I was going to find an amazing man. ⁠
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Here is my list of the type of man I was looking for: ⁠
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– attractive⁠
– understanding man who’s a good listener⁠
– supportive and my cheerleader⁠
– physically active⁠
– love of learning⁠
– helping and philanthropic⁠
– loves my children⁠
– treats me always with respect⁠
– friendly with others⁠
– calm and patient⁠
– makes room for me in his life⁠
– good with money⁠
– shows me he cares about me and that I’m a priority⁠
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I wrote out that list and then I stopped looking. ⁠
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I started living. I lived my life for me. I did the things I wanted to do. I built a good life without a man. ⁠
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Then I met him. That saying is so annoying – “it’ll happen when you least expect it.”⁠
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I looked at my list and he was everything on my list. ⁠
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That’s a pretty amazing manifestation. ⁠
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So what’s on your list? Are you settling?⁠
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Whitney⁠

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My Word of the Year

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Happy New Year Mama!

New Year’s is always like a fresh start. It’s like a brand new beginning. Where things can be a bit different and you can be a better mom and do things a little bit differently. It gives us a little bit of motivation to try new things, new recipes, new ways of thinking.

Every year I contemplate my intentions for the coming year and I like to pick a word that will encompass or guide my year. Last year my word was faith.

Last year my word was Faith

Faith in myself, faith in my decisions and faith in the future that I was building. Faith that everything was going to work out just as it should. Sometimes the faith wasn’t there or shaky. But I could always return to that word and feel it again.

Have you thought of yours yet? 

For me, how I found it was just thinking about this coming year of 2020. What my vision for it is. How I want to feel. What I hope to accomplish at home, with the kids, at work. I journaled and brainstormed then saw how each word on the page felt for me. 

My word will help guide me over the next year. I can use it to ask myself questions to make sure I’m on the right track. It can help remind me of the core of what I need this year. 

This year my word is Ignite. 

Ignite

I’m ready to ignite my world with more passion, love and fun. To brighten up my family life. To turn mundane into magical. To ignite those around me to feel inspired and hopeful. To ignite the ideas and dreams within me to the surface to burn brightly. To help others ignite the dreams and passions within themselves. So we can all live a life filled with passion and purpose. 

I’d love to know your word if you feel like sharing and why you chose it. 

Whitney

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